I’m so very thankful to be working my ass off.
I am one severely stressed out individual when I have lag time– when I’m in between writing projects, when I don’t have a good book to read, when my day is filled with nothing but the responsibilities of keeping three children alive. Family life can get hectic, for sure, but for me it has never gotten so crazy that taking care of children/house has relieved me of boredom.
But these last few months, I’ve started graduate school, I’ve gotten a regular part-time writing job, I’ve signed with an agent for my first novel, Secrets of the Sari Chest and have begun work on my second novel, Finding Om. Despite the late nights typing away at my laptop, the hours spent at Starbucks on the weekend revising an article, the panic of realizing I have close to 20 books to read before early January– I have never felt more balanced in my life. I have never felt more alive.
I confess, there are some days the workload feels like way too much. I find myself calling girlfriends and venting that I can’t do it all, that I wish my husband wasn’t working on the weekend so I could catch up on reading, that I need to find a babysitter to keep my head above water.
But after I hang up, I feel much better. Because with a few moments to reflect on my new normal, I realize that, for years, I have craved this…this kind of non-family, non-household workload where if dinner’s not planned out days in advance we won’t have anything to eat, or where I don’t have time to meet friends for lunch because I have so much to do. If there is a blessing in drowning in work, in pushing up against urgent deadlines, then my friends–
I have arrived.
And I couldn’t be more grateful.