I’ve started seriously looking for a lake home in the North Georgia Mountains. Oh, I’m not considering buying a house in the North Georgia Mountains. But I’m seriously looking for one, because I need to have something else to do in the midst of these mind-numbing revisions. It doesn’t help matters that I recently hiked to Anna Ruby Falls, tubed down the Chattahoochee River, and have fallen head over heels in love with this gorgeous part of Georgia a relatively short drive from the Atlanta Metro Area.
My point, is that I’m so close to finishing my revisions, that I seem to be making myself as busy as possible with other things so that I don’t have to face the fact that very soon I’ll be done with my revisions.
Because then I’ll want to run and hide.
In the past few days, I’ve gone to see a movie. Two, actually. I did some shopping at TJ Maxx and bought a Vera Bradley bag I didn’t need. I’ve been exercising a lot.
Some writers procrastinate during the writing part– they put off sitting down to actually write the story.
I don’t do this. I procrastinate when I know it’s time to show my work to someone. I procrastinate when it’s time to submit my work.
When I’m writing, I can pretend that what I write is good. I can fantasize about seeing my name on the NY Times best-seller list, seeing an essay of mine in The New Yorker, or reading a glowing review of my novel by a favorite author of mine.
I can live quite happily with these success fantasies, as long as my manuscripts stay on my hard drive.
But when I hit “send,’ I can no longer pretend that what I write is good. I’m forced to face reality.
This is why, as I wind down my last edits, I’m holding tight to my novel while looking through online photos of log cabin homes with lake access. Because before I go out into the fire of rejection, I need a little more time to pretend about the thrill of publication.