I have a lot of trouble letting things go.
Perhaps I’ve always had trouble putting stuff behind me, or perhaps this annoying character flaw is becoming more deep-seated the older I get. But if I don’t get finality, whether in work or relationships, I can’t seem to move beyond whatever it is that is eating me up on the inside.
You already know that our anthology doesn’t have a contract. It’s been on submission for 6.5 months. It might still get a contract, but regardless of whether it does or it doesn’t– I need to move on. I need to throw myself into my novel. I need to revise an essay that’s just been accepted into another anthology. I need to research other calls for submissions. I need to formally commit to taking on a board position in my writers club. I really, really need an author website and business cards. I need to tell myself that even though I haven’t published a book yet, I am worthy of attending a writers conference. I need to revisit the picture books I’ve written, and see what revisions there are to be done.
I need to get off this hamster wheel that is doubt and uncertainty, discouragement and dejection, and find a way to keep writing new material. I need to put our anthology project out of my head, so that I can work on other projects.
It’s just so hard for me to cut the cord and move on, when I’m so emotionally wrapped up. Anyone else know what I’m talking about?
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Here’s a piece from Lisa Belkin that continues the discussion from yesterday about the uber-gendering of our children— Why do women shun science?