A Plea and a Pub

One of my favorite, newly discovered blogs is The Innocent Flower by Michelle Argyle. She wrote a beautiful post recently about how much it can hurt when people you love don’t read your writing.

This post struck a cord with me, because about 90% of the people I’m close to don’t read a single word I write. I’ve been blogging for nearly five years. I’ve had an online column. Most of my essays are available online. I’m on Facebook and Twitter, and link to my writing on those sites.

And yet, most of my family and friends don’t read a single word of it.

I won’t lie– it hurts like hell. These are people who would move mountains for me, people who love me and who have supported me through everything. I don’t know why they don’t read my stuff .

But, I’ve spent the past few years trying to accept this. And I think slowly, but surely, I’m getting there.

There is a silver lining to all of this, though.

People I hardly know, just barely met, or hadn’t seen or heard from in 20 years– have been reading my writing. They have been sending me emails, or commenting here, or commenting on Facebook.

I’m more grateful than they will ever know.

This month, I have an essay up at r.kv.r.y. literary journal. It’s called Beadwork. I wrote it a couple years back, placed it at one magazine, but then withdrew it when the magazine got bought out by another I wasn’t familiar with. I then tried it at a few other places, and was rejected. So now, almost three years later, it’s found a home. It’s a piece very close to my heart.

I hope you like it.


12 thoughts on “A Plea and a Pub

  1. Oh good. I feel like a stalker sometimes but if you like the feedback I’ll keep going. And you know, more people might be reading than you know, but the commenting thing can seem scary to people.
    But, this from someone whose husband has never read her blog. So I understand in a small way.

  2. oh, your piece is so, so beautiful!! I’m glad it finally found a good home.

    Interestingly (and I think it’s because I only write a personal blog and haven’t really published essays or any “nicer” or more polished writing), I didn’t mind too much that close friends and family didn’t read my blog. Besides, it was in English and most of them weren’t fluent. Lately, though, as six years have passed and our family has experienced so much upheaval, I feel frustrated that some people who could read don’t — just because I have to spend so much time telling them all these things that I spent so many hours writing down already in the blog.

    I think having a blog made me a less talkative person. I still talk lots with friends and family, but I don’t like to be telling people I haven’t seen in a while about what happened anymore. I summarize and leave it at that. It’s sad, but they could have a deeper relationship with me if they just spent time reading my writings.

    On the other hands, I have made countless new friends through the blog and I’m thrilled that I’ve even had the opportunity of meeting so many of them in person! (in your case it was the opposite, we met in person and then I began to read your blog — and also catch up on what you’d written in the past two-three years. You know how much I commented on old entries of your former blog!) πŸ˜‰

    anyway… it’s painful, but I think we need to accept the fact that many people who love us and value us just won’t read our writing. My husband used to read my blog, but he doesn’t have the time and interest anymore. I don’t mind too much — maybe he wouldn’t like something I write or, deep down, maybe he felt a bit uncomfortable about how much of our lives I’ve been sharing. He knows I need this, though, and he knows I’m a much happier person because of it. Anyway… I’m thrilled that we met through blogging and though I’m a bit sad we won’t be moving to Atlanta, I’m sure we’ll always be connected through the words we write! And that’s really nice too! πŸ™‚

  3. *Waves hands around frantically* Not to toot my own horn (who am I kidding?) but I’ve been reading your blog since your Dad first told me about it, back at the Hundred-Acre Wood.

    I know I don’t always comment, as I’m sure there are a few others in the same boat. But, know that your words are always appreciated.

    PS-check your email.

  4. You three are darlings…And of course I know you read my blog.

    Knowing you read is enough and means the world to me. I couldn’t care less about comments. I’m more referring to people who actually don’t ever read what I write.

    Thank you for making up for them.

  5. I read your blog every day, lady. Just because people don’t comment doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t reading!

  6. I know, dear. But trust me, it has nothing to do with comments. Most I know actually don’t read it.

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