Today has been peaceful and quiet for me. I spent all morning writing, next to my two Big Girls who were drawing. It’s these simple moments of reflection that make everything about motherhood, the good, the bad, and the ugly — worth it — a million times over.
I hope your day was just as lovely.
Below are two old Mother’s Day posts from my old blog.
I never know what to think about Mother’s Day. It’s a well-intended holiday that causes so many people so much pain, maybe we should just get rid of it? Too many sons and daughters have lost their mothers. Too many other sons and daughters have nonexistent or painful relationships with their mothers.
And then there are the mothers who are missing children they loved so very much, who either passed on as a child or as an adult, or even through miscarriage. And then there are the women who want so very badly to become mothers, who have struggled for years to make their dreams come true, but for one reason or another, still are not holding babies.
Last Mother’s Day was a particularly tough one for me. After waiting patiently for several months, we had just started trying again to get pregnant, and had recently learned we were unsuccessful. I was still mourning my miscarriages deeply. I wanted Mother’s Day, along with the negative pregnancy test, to go away. And when I think of Mother’s Day now, I think not just about the three darlings I have, but the others I might have had.
This Mother’s Day is very different. But I can’t celebrate it happily knowing too many dear people around me are suffering so much. I have nothing to give you, except for internet-hugs and virtual hand squeezes. I hope they help make the day less painful for you.
To all of you mothers who are suffering in some way today —
For those of you who have lost your own mothers,
For those of you who want desperately to become mothers,
For those of you who have lost children,
For those of you who have had miscarriages,
For those of you who mother sick or hurt children,
For those of you who mother in the midst of extreme financial stress,
For those of you who mother while being emotionally, verbally, or physically abused,
For those of you who mother alone,
For those of you who never had the kind of mother that you always needed,
For those of you who find motherhood far more difficult than you could have possibly imagined–
Know that today is the day I think of you the most.